I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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