She is in my trunk
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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