Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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