No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
