Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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