He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
