I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
where are my eyebrows?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
