Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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