shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
