He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
