I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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