literally had 100 drinks last night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
