this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
