OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
