I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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