His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
