dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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