hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
