piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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