were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
