i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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