it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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