He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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