Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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