Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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