If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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