Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize