Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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