I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
