so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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