I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
