I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
