So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
