The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
