i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize