the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
