I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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