Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
