i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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