you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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