our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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