If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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