Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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