So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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