I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
