my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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