I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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