Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize