4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
