I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
