is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
