so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
