Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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