I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
