he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need water and some morals
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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