Pants 0. Shit 1.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
