we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
