i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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